Hi everyone, hope you have all had a great Christmas/Solstice/festive season. Whenever we approach the end of another year and the beginning of a new one, I usually tend to get a little reflective. I find myself looking back over the previous twelve months, remembering both good times and bad, celebrating the successes and happy memories and sometimes licking my wounds as well. Life is a succession of experiences, some pleasant, some unpleasant and that’s just the nature of the game. The important thing is what we take from the experience and what we become by it. As Aldous Huxley said, “experience is not what happens to you; it’s what you do with what happens to you.”
So here are ten things that I’ve learned in the past twelve months. Many of them I already knew to be fair, but events may have forced a deeper and more profound realisation.
1. Have a purpose and passion. In the words of Swami Vivekananda:
“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life; dream of it, think of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, the body, muscles, nerves and every part of the body be full of that one idea and leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, and this is the way great spiritual giants are produced.”
It’s helps to know your desired destination before you hop on the train, and everything else in your life can then be measured in terms of whether it is conducive to your overall purpose. And hey, once you’re on that train you can relax! This purpose, our svadharma, is not something that can be manufactured. It’s built into us; it comes from our essential nature, although social conditioning and the social masks we develop often strip it away from us and we end up living inauthentic lives as inauthentic people. When you’re not true to yourself and living an authentic life that fulfils your dharma, you will suffer.
In the past few months I’ve committed myself to my true purpose, not least because I was left with no other option. I expect that purpose will change and evolve over time, for nothing is static or set in stone. But I’ve had to let go of the winding side paths and find the discipline, courage and energy to commit myself to the road less travelled. Amazingly, all the resources to just do that have almost miraculously appeared. Everything is just flowing perfectly now, and that is a wonder to behold.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” William Hutchinson Murray (often attributed to J.W. von Goethe)
2. It’s not up to us. Learning the art of karma yoga — which is an understanding and attitude with which we approach life — continues to be immensely helpful to me. Basically it’s like this: we are responsible for our actions, but we are not responsible for the results of our actions. The results of our actions are never in our hands. It’s up to the field of life and the innumerable factors that comprise that field. Knowing that the results are not up to us, that they’ll be whatever they will be, means that any emotional issues we have about getting what we want are ultimately erroneous.
When this really sinks in — and it does take time! — we automatically relax. We simply do our best in life with what we have. We play our part in the game, and the outcome of the game is up to life. We can take whatever comes, both good and bad (and life is always a mixture of the two) and deal with it in a relaxed and appropriate fashion. Living life as karma yoga is one of the ultimately remedies to stress. It’s all in the attitude.
3. Open your heart, but guard it. I’ve always believed that it’s good to see the best in people and I will always stand by that. However I’ve learned the hard way that you can save yourself a lot of heartache by trying to be objective at the same time. It doesn’t pay to believe everything everyone says just because you want it to be true. See people for what they are and not what you want them to be and proceed accordingly. Don’t seek love. Be love, and give love. Love doesn’t have to mean some notion of ‘romantic love’, it can be expressed in an infinite variety of ways in every single moment.
4. What other people think of us is none of our business. In the words of my teacher James Swartz: “Pack it in! It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about you. People are going to think what they’re going to think based on their vasanas. You have no control over it, so why are you wasting your time thinking about whether other people like you or not? One minute they’ll love you and the next moment they won’t. It’s totally outside your control. When you know that, you cease caring.” Word!
5. There is no failure; only lessons learned. We learn more from our seeming failures than our successes and often failure has the seeds of success within it, and vice versa. We really can’t judge things, because we can never see the bigger picture. As Rumi said, “failure is the key to the kingdom within”.
6. There’s beauty in everything and everyone. Even if it’s well hidden. And there’s immense beauty in our SELF. Even the simple recognition of it brings something to the world, something the world really needs. It’s a gift to the people we encounter…and to ourselves. See your own beauty. And share it by allowing it to shine.
7. Quit the media. I ceased trusting the mainstream media years ago. Go watch Noam Chomsky’s Manufacturing Consent. It’s agenda-driven, manipulating minds, belief systems, worldviews, and driven by the nefarious interests of a select few. I have a few alternative news sites I trust and generally I find out what I need to find out. I also feel much better when I resist the urge to read ‘comments’ sections on websites, because people write so much crap and behave in such childish moronic ways that I find it quite depressing! Media fasts are genuinely great for creativity and good for the soul too.
8. Sometimes you just have to shut up and smile.
9. Never underestimate the power of a peaceful mind. Samhkya philosophy states there are three states of mind: tamasic, rajasic and sattvic. A tamasic mind is dull, heavy and prone to lethargy, ignorance and laziness (kind of the state of mind when you have a stinker of a hangover). A rajasic mind is always active, always anxious, restless and chasing after things (when you just can’t settle down and your mind is moving a mile a minute — that’s rajas at work). The ideal state is sattvic, which is characterised by balance, harmony, peace, equanimity and clarity. Unlike the other two states, a sattvic mind is a clear mind, and we need a clear mind in order to effectively deal with, assimilate and resolve our experiences.
Most of our problems stem from excess rajas and tamas and too little sattva — we get into trouble because we’re not adequately dealing with what life brings our way for lack of a clear mind. The gunas can be managed by lifestyle, diet, exercise, meditation and modifying one’s life appropriately to cultivate a clear, peaceful, calm mind. This really is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself, and indeed others. Whenever we’re feeling stressed, anxious and perturbed it’s impossible to think clearly, so we don’t adequately respond to what’s coming our way. There’s immense value to taking responsibility for our state of mind. It can literally make or break us. I’ve learned it’s vital to get myself to a peaceful and relaxed place, regardless of what’s going on around me, and learn to stay there as much as I can.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Viktor Frankl
10. Forget the past. It’s gone, over, dead. It exists as nothing but a thought in your mind amid hundreds of thousands of other thoughts. Let it go, or it’ll drag you down. Every day, every hour, every moment, we are born anew. Life is can be ever-fresh, vital and exciting when we choose to experience it as such. 2014 is an exciting new chapter, and I for one am looking forward to it!
Thanks for reading, take care and wishing you all a very happy new year!
